Rant: Just give me my fucking money!

Why???

How is it that I have still not received my final paycheck from that horrid ass job and that crooked ass preacher? I’m so sick of sending fucking e-mails. This man has really me damn near whoring myself, for a couple hundred dollars. Why must I hound you for whats lawfully mine? Why all the aggravation and insults? Just give me my damn money. Every time he pisses me off I come here and curse and act a nigga. I’m trying to hold composure and be mature, but I really want to fight this nigga, straight up. Bash his shit in! 09 should not have started like this. The bullshit just keeps building up. I need a shovel and a job to make this shit less annoying.

 

Keep hydrated,

 

KD

Act A N***A Part 2 (Trying to let go with Vodka)

How could I lose if I did nothing wrong?

Why am I sitting here drowning my sorrows in vodka and whatever juice we have in this house broke?

This is not how I pictured my day. I just didn’t. I can’t believe such crooked people are allowed to run business, let alone school. I’ll home school my kids, people are going to blame me if they come out fucked up anyway, I might as well go for the fucking gold.

I know I wrote about this earlier and I thought I was done but…Sometimes its just to hard to be the bigger person and let things go. Sometimes you gotta hold on to that anger, just enough to keep you from crashing. That’s what I’m doing right now. This anger and the drinking are the only things keeping me afloat.

Good guys finish last. That’s how the saying goes, but I never pictured myself one of the good guys. I was always a step away from each. I like the grey areas. There is more room for error there. I just can’t understand how I got fucked over. Does the law not mean anything? I spent my entire day on the phone with the department of labor and all they can tell me that is that “Yes, what your boss is doing is wrong but there is nothing we can do at this point”…Bitch what are you good for. GET ME MY MONEY. When the law protects the criminal clergy and struggling college kids go broke, where is the justice? WHERE IS MY MONEY?

As much as I am upset about the money this is about principle. When you say you’re going to do something do it, especially when it comes to dealing with people’s money. No one works for fun. Well, I don’t.  People need money.  And they except to get paid accordingly, you can’t withhold my money because you don’t agree with how I submitted my resignation. I didn’t have to give you any notice what so ever and the same amount of money would still be owed to me.

I’m just beside myself and no one seems to understand my anger, my frustration, my need to drink, and be alone, and whine, and write. I just need to do this. It’s the only way all of this BULLSHIT will make some type of sense in the morning.

I’m more upset that I spent more than half my day at this very computer screen arguing with a crook…sorry I mean pastor. I want to past emails and school websites but it will do no good. I really want to bomb the fuck out of that place and watch his dreams crumble. I really want to wish the worst for him, and I know it’s not right but I can’t help it. When I’m angry these things happen and I refuse to apologize for them. So… I hope he gets AIDS and cancer for his wife, and that one of his sons are gay, and another gets hep c from using a dirty needle, I hope his little girls gets hit by a car, and I hope it happens all in the same week, so I can drive by the house laughing and throwing broken beer bottles at them…I don’t even care. At this point I don’t.

I’m tired of people fucking with me.

 

And in the middle of writing this I got this e-mail…

yo i heard pastor did you wrong, don’t take action you gone just have to wait and going to court will cost you alot more and you was right about JR talkin shit when you left  (Excuse the spelling mistakes)

 

and I smiled.

 

I don’t know why, but I did.

 

I feel bad again. Maybe those kinds weren’t that bad. Maybe they were just lost. Hell, I’m still lost, in many ways I need to stop and stare. At what I don’t know, but something.

 

This day has been too long. Too stressful. My entire soul is tired.

 

Goodnight,

 

KD

 

Make me act a N****

Yo…

Why is my boss trying to stick me for my money? Sorry Let me rephrase. Why is my boss not trying to pay me today, like he promised he would at the start of the week?

SOMEONE PLEASE IN FORM THIS NIGGA….

Don’t fuck with my money. Don’t do it!

backtrack…

I sent a letter to him earlier in the week saying when my last day would be. Last night all of a sudden, you are quick to accept my letter of resignation and say your going to mail my last two check to me…NIGGA NO YOU DON’T.

I didn’t mail you my fuckin services. I didn’t make you wait 3 to 5 business days for me to come in and teach and put up with a bunch of other unnecessary bullshit. GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY.

I WILL SNAP ON THIS OLD GEEZER. 4 MONTHS OF PENT UP ANGER AND BULLSHIT. I WILL GO THE FUCK OFF.

So, I nicley replied to his email and said some of the aforementiond details, minus the curse words. He replied

Payday is the 20th. I will mail your  last two checks. Don’t come here.

I copied and pasted that from the email.  NIGGA.

I know when pay day is, but I asked you in person eariler in the week if we would get paid on Friday becasue it was the start of your holiday break. YOU SAID WE WOULD.

WHERE DOES ALL THE FUCKING CONFUSION COME FROM.

AND THEN, YOU TELL ME NOT TO COME THERE.

SAVE YOUR BREATH. AS LONG AS YOU HAVE MY MONEY, I’LL SHOW UP WHEN EVER THE FUCK I LIKE AND WILL ACT A NIGGA IF I FEEL LIKE IT JUST BECASUE YOU HAVE INCONVIENCED ME.

DON’T PLAY WITH PEOPLE’S MONEY. ITS THE DAMN HOLIDAY SEASON. I HAVE BILL AND OTHER OBLIGATIONS THAT RESTED ON THE FACT THAT YOU SAID YOU WOULD PAY ME TODAY. PAY ME TODAY.

I’M SO READY TO FIGHT THIS OLD ASS MAN. YO…

THIS IS THE MOST SPITEFUL SHIT I’VE HEARD OF IN MY LIFE. AND HE HAS THE NEVER TO CALL HIMSELF A PASTOR. NIGGA!

LET ME SHOW UP THERE AND HE TRY NOT TO PAY ME.

IM PISSIN ON THE CARPET AND CALLING SOMEBODY ALL TYPES OF UNCHRISTIAN LIKE NAMES.

I DON’T PLAY GAMES.

NOT WITH MY MONEY.

NOT AT ALL.

 

IF I DON’T POST FOR A FEW DAYS AFTER THIS ITS BECAUSE I’VE BEEN LOCKED UP,

 

kd

Its Written Over Your Face (Staff Meetings)

Before reading this please refer back to the entry “No Apology Required”.

Yesterday, I spent the better part of what had shaped up to be a pretty good day in a BULLSHIT ASS MEETING. I told you before about my job here at school, and how I don’t really do anything, and that I get paid, and I’ve been doing it for 3 years. Well, now in light of my recent altercation with the Easter bunny face bitch they decided to become a little more strict and have rules, because they want us to become more well-rounded individuals and know how to survive in the “real world”. Whatever. If that meeting is what the “real world” is like than I gladly decline. Because what I’ve learned is that in the real world no one really likes their co-workers and are only concerned with them when they are preforming their job at a less than satisfactory manor. That as soon as one co-worker leaves the office it is time for the rest of the office to talk about them. That confidentiality never really exist because no one cares and its all the same as gossip to them. That myspacing and text messaging is also just as addictive to people who are 30 and single and wack (special shot out the bunny face bitch). But most importantly in the real world no one says how they really feel. They have meetings and tip-toe around the issues and pretend that everything is cool with out direct confrontation but at the same time not solving anything. Nothing at all. Just wait for the meeting to be over and start the same vicious cycle over the very next day. Is this really what I came to college to learn. How to be conniving and manipulative. How to be unhappy and in debt with a master’s. Wow! I see now why people are  oppose conformity, and now I am inclined to agree. I would like to think the best way to solve a problem is to face it head on. and I’m not saying that I’m a very confrontational person, however If i feel deeply about something than I won’t silence myself behind meetings and pointless handouts. Lets not waist that much time. and plus I’m not that good at the faking attitude. I wear my emotions all on my face and they can tell you far more than any words that I say. I don’t even realize it until someone brings it to my attention. Ok ok. The moral of this story is that, the real world is full of frauds. Angry people afraid to be angry and try and make me go to meetings that could have been solved the first time if the bunny faced bitch just let me curse her out. Please stop me if I sound a bit immature, its just how I feel.

Learning and Growing

K

Creepy Crawly Humans

Have you ever met a person annoyed you to your core. I mean the very sound of their vocal cords vibrating sends an instant sensation of irritation through your soul like, if you were to see this person from a mile away you feel your mood becoming dim, as if they sucked the smile off you face. I HAVE MET THAT PERSON, and I feel a tad bit bad because I don’t really know them, but at the same time if I were given the opportunity to I would gladly decline. I feel like I’m twelve. I just can’t help it that I get annoyed so easily. This perfectly sunny afternoon in February is ruined. Stained by the presence of the unwanted. THIS IS WHY I AM IN FAVOR OF ABORTION!(that may have been to much, but so what) We even share the mutual friends. but I don’t know how much longer I can put up with that. Just thinking about them makes my skin crawl. GEEZ! but enough about things that upset me. I got paid today! and my taxes come in on Monday so I am uber excited about that. I can finally catch up on the thing that seems to make me most happy GOING BROKE!. Tonight is another shot chaser Friday, except this time I will be mindful of my intake. Saturday brings work and party, Sunday is always to refocus, then back to the weekly hustle.

Getting Familiar….

K D